Saturday, September 8, 2007

Baby Showers, etc

So I am heading out of town today to a good friend's baby shower.

I am excited for her, and I am really trying to keep positive about the trip.

I haven't been able to share a lot with her about our struggles with IF. In fact, I don't think I have told her at all. She lives a few states away and we seem to have both gotten sucked into our own lives. We email each other every few months or so. When she emailed saying she was pregnant it took me a few weeks to respond. I am sure many infertiles can understand, it is hard for me to hear of someone getting pregnant.

It always reminds me of our failures. We have had three pregnancies in my immediate family since we started TTC. There have been at least 5 kids concieved and born in my small company since we started TTC. Each time it is like a little stab...

Today though, I am glad that I have not told her. I want to celebrate her journey into motherhood and I never ever want her to feel like she should feel bad for me because of her own success. I am happy for her and I can't wait to meet her little one when it comes. She will be such an amazing mother - I just know it. She is strong, empathetic, intelligent, and amazing.

And when I do get to join her as a mother, I know she will be just as happy for me. Maybe then I will bring our own journey to light - and how it has changed and is still changing my life.