Autumn Splendor

This weekend we are going to a college football game. It is so wonderful out. The crisp feeling of the air. I turned off the air conditioner.

Autumn is just beginning in Indiana and all is well.

The baby shower last weekend was great. I miss my friend - she is sooo beautiful with her belly all round and high. She is always beautiful, but there is a special beauty to seeing her as a mother-to-be.

It reminds me of the Patience card in my Osho Zen Tarot deck:


This week was crazy busy at work, as it usually is coming off of a vacation. Although this time I really felt organized about it. Over the past year I have implemented this system that allows me to manage my inbox. I can't believe how much it reduces my stress. (Outlook users - I use an addon called 'ClearContext' - it is amazing.)

Still, with work being busy and working out after dinner, I had little energy left to blog. Also, it is that time of the month when I am waiting to ovuluate. Last month I totally felt the O pains happen.

So far it is day 15 and I have no rumblings in the under-carriage just yet. Since my cycle is not very, um, cyclical, right now I do not think I am on the normal 14 days for ovulation. I expect it to come around Sunday.

I started my new drug regime (upping my Met to 2000mg, adding prednisone, and continuing my synthroid). It takes a little time for my body to get used to the higher dosage of MET - but it is alright. I am used to needing a bathroom near at all times.

I also just bought a new book that my doctor recommends - 'The Insulin Resistance Diet'. I plan on modifying my low carb diet to reflect this type of diet that is high in fiber and protein and sticks to complex carbs (when carbs are eaten).
(http://www.amazon.com/Insulin-Resistance-Diet-Bodys-Fat-Making-Machine/dp/0809224275/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-2395984-2703967?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189861555&sr=8-1)

I plan on reading it on the way up to the football game.

I am looking forward to a great weekend!

Baby Showers, etc

So I am heading out of town today to a good friend's baby shower.

I am excited for her, and I am really trying to keep positive about the trip.

I haven't been able to share a lot with her about our struggles with IF. In fact, I don't think I have told her at all. She lives a few states away and we seem to have both gotten sucked into our own lives. We email each other every few months or so. When she emailed saying she was pregnant it took me a few weeks to respond. I am sure many infertiles can understand, it is hard for me to hear of someone getting pregnant.

It always reminds me of our failures. We have had three pregnancies in my immediate family since we started TTC. There have been at least 5 kids concieved and born in my small company since we started TTC. Each time it is like a little stab...

Today though, I am glad that I have not told her. I want to celebrate her journey into motherhood and I never ever want her to feel like she should feel bad for me because of her own success. I am happy for her and I can't wait to meet her little one when it comes. She will be such an amazing mother - I just know it. She is strong, empathetic, intelligent, and amazing.

And when I do get to join her as a mother, I know she will be just as happy for me. Maybe then I will bring our own journey to light - and how it has changed and is still changing my life.

Do you do UDO?????

I had my RE visit yesterday.

I lost eight pounds since my last visit. YAY! Also my blood pressure was somewhere around 130/72. I was really enthused by that because high blood pressure was something that really wigged me out enough to take this whole loosing weight and working out seriously. Before I first started I took my BP and it was 155/95. It freaked me out - I mean I am not even 30 yet and I was dangerously close to heart attack levels. After about three months of working out I have successfully got my Blood Pressure under control. woo hoo!

I supposed to start taking UDOS 369 Supplements. Anyone ever been told to take it? It is an oil that you have to mix in a shake or pour over your food. I put it on my peas and carrots yesterday and I could barely taste it - actually it sort of made it taste better. My RE swears by it - she said she got practically all her nurses in the hospital to take it and they all swear by it now too.

It is supposed to:
Increase energy, performance, and stamina.
Strengthen the immune system.
Lower most risk factors for cardiovascular disease.
Improve brain function: mood, intelligence , behavior, and vision.
Aid in weight reduction.
Regulate organs and glands.
Speed recovery and healing.
Support healthy child development.
Improve digestion.
Decrease infection.
Keep bones strong.
Protect genetic material.
Ease PMS.
Produce beautiful skin, hair, and nails.

http://www.udoerasmus.com/products/oil_blend_en.htm


My insulin levels are really high. She said my GTT showed that my body is spilling out insulin to try and battle sugar - but the sugar still is not being processed completely. Typical Insuin Resistance - I suppose. I am to up my Metformin Dosage to 2000 mg - which is standard issue for PCOS. This should help with insulin resistance and getting my ovaries back into the right hormonal balance.

Also, my DHEA-S is sky high. This causes high free testosterone levels. I have been prescribed a low dose of prednisone. The prednisone should be able to suppress those androgens without suppressing cortisol et al.

She is very positive about my status. We have to get all of these things under control and at the correct levels before we can think about ovulation stimulation drugs. If we can get these corrected - it may not be necessary. After three months (around November) if these things are leveled out properly and I am still not prego - then we look at the next steps (probably letrezole and gonatropids, and/or IUI).

Oh and the hubby's swimmers are mobile and plentiful. Also - my eggs are healthy and plentiful. All good news.

I am thinking this is all really good. Patience is important. I want to continue to live a more healthy life. I want to be in as good of a condition as I can when I get pregnant. It will only make the pregnancy less stressful and the baby more healthy.


Today is a big day - NFL season opener in Indy. I am going to see Kelly Clarkson and Faith Hill - oh and Peyton Manning and Bob Sanders too. :) Party time!

Cycle Day 1

Well AF finally came today. That makes this cycle 31 days. I go to the RE this week. Maybe she will help me figure out these wacky cycle lengths. I never know what stage I am at. I can say I had serious female part issues this cyle - I wonder what was going on. Can there be remnants from the HSG? Maybe I just completely missed the O because the cycle is off.

I keep listening to this song during my workout....It really makes me appreciate my life, my husband, all of the love and blessings that have been bestowed upon me my whole life. I am hopeful. And whatever happens - I am blessed.

Best of Whats Around
Dave Matthews Band

Hey my friend
It seems your eyes are troubled
Care to share your time with me
Would you say you're feeling low and so
A good idea would be to get it off your mind

See you and me
Have a better time than most can dream
Have it better than the best
So we can pull on through
Whatever tears at us
Whatever holds us down
And if nothing can be done
We'll make the best of what's around

Turns out not where but who you're with
That really matters
And hurts not much when you're around
And if you hold on tight
To what you think is your thing
You may find you're missing all the rest

Well she ran up into the light surprised
Her arms are open
Her mind's eye is

Seeing things from a
Better side than most can dream
On a clearer road I feel
Oh you could say she's safe
Whatever tears at her
Whatever holds her down
And if nothing can be done
She'll make the best of what's around

Turns out not where but what you think
That really matters
We'll make the best of what's around

after post note - I just realized this is the second month in a row that CD1 falls on the first day of the month, maybe my ovaries prefer the gregorian calendar....